Heero Yuy's School of the Death Glare
by Sayin Shinigami
Summary: Come and learn how to use the infamous Yuy Death Glare...mabey...
1. Default Chapter

Heero Yuy's School of the Death Glareä  
  
By: SayinShinigami  
  
Disclamer: I do not own Gundam Wing…yet. But when I do, ye mere mortals shall bow before my power MUHAHAHAHAHAHA!  
  
SS: Now, who do I want to tortur…uh…use in this demonstration? I'll need Heero…  
  
Suddenly Heero Yuy appears in the nothingness  
  
Heero: Where am I?  
  
SS: I am SayinShinigami, and you are in my fanfiction.  
  
Heero: Omae O Korosu, author.  
  
He pulls his gun out of hammer space and shoots three bullets at me  
  
I power up to a level 3 Super Sayin and my energy field melts the bullets  
  
Heero: O.o'  
  
SS: Now, as I was saying, I'll also need Duo, Trowa, Quatre, Wufei, Lady Une, and Relena.  
  
The aforementioned people appear and look around in confusion  
  
All (minus Heero): Where are we?  
  
SS: I am SayinShinigami, and you are in my fanfiction.  
  
All: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!  
  
Lady Une: Why is it solid black? Why are we floating? Why are we even here!?  
  
SS: It is solid black because I haven't created the setting yet, you are floating because there is no ground, and you are here for my fanfiction, "Heero Yuy's School of the Death Glareä.  
  
Relena: Start the fanfiction, this nothingness is making me sick…  
  
Vomits up last weeks lunch  
  
Relena: I still don't feel good…  
  
SS: Ewww…OK! ON with the fanfiction!  
  
We see a two story house set slightly back in the wood so as not to gain the attention of any normal anime characters (A.N. some of them are normal, right?) Here in this house we see Heero Yuy, famous pilot of Wing Zero, and perfect soldier to boot, glaring at a mirror. Suddenly, the mirror shatters, into dust. It is gone, a pile of sand on the floor. Then Heero turns to you the reader/viewer.  
  
Heero: Greetings, I am Heero Yuy. My mission today (glares at the author) is to teach the pre-selected group of people to use my patented Death Glareä. You may be able to learn how to do this just from watching, but it is highly unlikely.  
  
The door opens, and Duo storms in  
  
Duo: I don't like this author, he calls himself Shinigami, But I AM SHINIGAMI! NO ONE BUT ME CAN BE THE GOD OF DEATH!  
  
Suddenly I appear just behind Duo  
  
SS: Actually…  
  
Duo: AHHH! HOW"D YOU DO THAT! YOU ALMOST GAVE ME A HEART ATTACK!  
  
SS: Huh? Oh, that. I used the Instant Transmission, Goku taught me. But anyways, I am SayinShinigami, so think of me as Vegeta (Oh! BTW I don't own DBZ) crossed with you, and some sanity thrown in just so I don't 1) act like you and 2) don't kill people on a whim.  
  
Duo: Ohhh! Ok!  
  
SS: Good, I gotta go, I can't write the story from inside it!  
  
I disappear  
  
Heero: Now Duo, you have to glare at this mirror until it shatters, understand.  
  
Duo: Yeah, I guess.  
  
Duo glares at the mirror, but nothing happens immediately…  
  
Two days later  
  
Duo (whiney voice): I can't do it! I'm outta here!  
  
As he spins around to leave his braid hits the mirror, causing it to shatter  
  
Duo: Woohoo! I did it!  
  
Heero: -_-' Okay…Uh go sit on the "Couch of Graduates"  
  
Duo: Um…  
  
Heero: The author made me say it  
  
Then the door opens and Trowa walks in  
  
Trowa: …  
  
Heero: I know, but he did break the mirror, so he qualifies as a graduate. But now you must break the mirror.  
  
Trowa glares at the mirror, and exactly half of it shatters  
  
Heero: O.o' How'd you do that!  
  
Trowa: …  
  
Heero: Oh, I see, your unibang got in the way, well technically you did shatter it, so go sit of the couch with Duo.  
  
There is a somewhat soft, polite knock at the door  
  
Using my powers as an omnipotent all-powerful author, I open the door  
  
Quatre: Hello, I'm Quatre Rebaba Winner.  
  
Heero: I know that  
  
Quatre: But the readers might not.  
  
Heero: But they're reading a "Gundam Wing" fanfiction, they know all about us.  
  
Quatre: Everything?  
  
Heero: Everything.  
  
Quatre shudders at what some of the readers know about him.  
  
Heero: You must glare at the mirror until it shatters.  
  
Suddenly the door breaks down and forty men wearing red fezzes (A.N. Is that how it's spelled?)  
  
Maquanauts (?): Master Quatre! It's too dangerous, allow us to do it for you!  
  
Quatre: But…okay…  
  
Under the pressure of forty death glares the mirror explodes in a fiery ball of death  
  
Heero: Okay…Quatre go sit on the couch  
  
SS: The rest of you, get out! I can't afford for all of you to be here!  
  
The Maquanauts all leave  
  
SS: Good, I borrowed this house, I didn't want them to destroy it!  
  
I teleport out  
  
Wufei barges in  
  
Wufei: INJUSTICE! The author is weak! I refuse to be in this weak fanfiction.  
  
I appear just behind him, fully powered up  
  
SS: What did you say!  
  
Wufei: Nothing! I didn't call your fanfiction weak!  
  
SS: I thought so! Be warned, Wufei, I will hurt you in my next fanfiction!  
  
Wufei: (pales so much he makes white bed sheets look black)  
  
Heero: Wufei, glare at the mirror until it shatters.  
  
Wufei: (grumble, grumble) fine…  
  
He glares, but the mirror doesn't immediately shatter  
  
Wufei: INJUSTICE!!  
  
The mirror shatters  
  
Heero: -_-' Riiiiiiiiiiiiight…go sit on the couch.  
  
The door opens and four armed men run in  
  
Random Soldier #1: Ma'am, the area is clear!  
  
Lady Une walks in  
  
Une: Okay. Clear out!  
  
Random Soldier #2: Yes ma'am!  
  
The four soldiers run out  
  
Heero: You must break the glass.  
  
Une: Okay.  
  
She glares but nothing happens  
  
Une: I can't do it.  
  
I appear  
  
SS: Do it for (whisper, whisper)  
  
Une: Yes!  
  
She puts on her glasses  
  
The mirror explodes with a large mushroom cloud  
  
Heero: What did you tell her?  
  
SS: I told her to do it for "His Excellency", and then I gave her the glasses.  
  
Heero: Oh…take off the glasses, and sit on the couch.  
  
Une: okay  
  
Heero: SS, who's last?  
  
SS: You may no like this…it's Relena…  
  
Heero: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!  
  
From out side: HEERO! I'm over here! Come and get me!  
  
Heero: Shoot me! NOW!  
  
SS: NO! You will finish this fanfic! Or I'll take away all of your guns, and the keys to Wing Zero for a month!  
  
Heero: NO! Anything but that!  
  
SS: Then teach Relena the Death Glareä!  
  
Heero (pouting): Okay…  
  
The door shatters under the immense power of Relena's incessant knocking  
  
Relena: Heero! I found you (glomps him so hard he can't breath)  
  
Heero: Relena…(gasp)…I…(choke)…need…  
  
Relena: Yes Heero, what is it, my hand in marriage?  
  
Heero:…no…(wheeze)…need…air…can't…breathe…  
  
Relena: Oh! Sorry!  
  
Heero: Okay…(cough)…you must shatter this mirror by glaring at it.  
  
Relena: Okay! Anything for you!  
  
Heero: Will you jump off a cliff?  
  
Relena: No.  
  
Heero & SS: Rats!  
  
Relena stares at the mirror, but instead of the current mirror shattering, the old, broken mirrors are re-formed into a perfect state  
  
Heero: O.o' How…how'd you do that!  
  
Relena: Welllllllll…I can't do a Death Glareä, so I used my Glare of Lifeã  
  
Heero: Well, since you failed to shatter the glass, I'll have to kill you.  
  
Relena: Heero, you always threaten me. I know you don't mean it.  
  
Heero: Actually, I do. Omae O Korosu.  
  
Pulls out his gun and shoots her  
  
All: Woohoo! She's dead!  
  
Duo (in a sing song voice): Ding-Dong the Witch is Dead! Quatre, break out the champagne, it's party time!  
  
***elsewhere***  
  
Zechs: They have killed Rlena, but that's okay…  
  
Walks into a room filled with blue tubes  
  
Zechs:…we have more…MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!  
  
The camera pans to show an army of Relena clones in the tubes…  
  
***THE END***  
  
(or is it…?) 


	2. G Gundam cast, ready? Go!

Heero Yuy's School of the Death Glare Ch.2 - G Gundam, story on standby. Ready.Learn!  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own any Gundam series, go away.  
  
Author's Note: Wow! I can't believe I'm writing another chapter for this! It's been so long! But I got a review from one Savior Yuy, and I've decided to add a few more chapters! Right now I have ideas for "Lord of the Rings" and "Star Wars" (don't own 'em) as well. Any others for me to possibly use?  
  
~*~*~*~*~  
  
Sayin Shinigami: (Instant Transmits into Winner Mansion #43) Hey! Gundam pilots! I need to talk to you!  
  
The pilots all appear in various signature move-esque type things. Wufei jumps down the stairwell and lands in front of me, katana poised to strike. The Maganac Corps. carries Quatre in. Trowa does his double flip, triple axle thing. Duo appears out of nowhere with semi-spooky special effects, and Heero falls from the ceiling, lands, breaks his leg, and promptly resets it.  
  
Quatre: Sayin Shinigami! It's been a long time! How are you? Duo: What 'cha been up to lately? Sayin Shinigami: I've been working on a Harry Potter fanfic. Sorry I haven't seen you guys in a while. Heero: Hn. What do you want? Sayin Shinigami: I need you to teach at the Heero Yuy School of the Death Glare again. Heero: Why? Sayin Shinigami: I felt like opening it up to other people. Heero: Like who? Sayin Shinigami: You'll see, so, are you in? Heero: Mission Accepted. Sayin Shinigami: Great! (Pulls out Super-Ultra-Powerful-Remote-Of- Omnipotence) Trowa: What's that? Sayin Shinigami: It's my Super-Ultra-Powerful-Remote-Of-Omnipotence, or SUPROO. It will take us back to the school, and then classes will start. (Pushes button marked 'Start the fic already!') *~*~*~* (Insert Star Trek-ish Transport sequence)*~*~*~*  
  
Heero: Hn. (looks around. Actually has a classroom this time) Good.  
  
Suddenly, there is the tone of a digitized school bell. The door opens and various members of the G Gundam cast walk in.  
  
Domon: Huh, another fanfiction. We don't get to many of these, they all go to the Gundam Wing cast. George: Sad, but true. Let us see what is in store for us this time. Sai Sici: Look! It's that Heero Yuy guy from Gundam Wing! It's a cross- over! Argo: ... Chibodee: No! I'll get him! Machine Gun Punch! (Nothing happens) Huh? Heero: This is "Heero Yuy's School of the Death Glare" I'm going to teach you how to do a perfect death glare. Domon: Why should we!? Heero: (Thinks.) It will make you better fighters. G Gundam Cast: We're in! Heero: Good. Now first is the History of the Death Glare. The first recorded death glare in Anime was by Astro Boy, although it wasn't very potent back then. Eventually. *~Five hours later~*  
  
Heero: And that is how to do my version, dubbed the "Perfect Soldier Death Glare". Are there any questions?  
  
Heero looks around. George has taken extensive notes on the subject. Domon didn't do anything, but did pay attention to the lecture, as did Argo. Sai Sici has fallen asleep and there is a large puddle of drool around his desk. Chibodee has a glazed look in his eyes and mutters the names of his support crew every now and then.  
  
Heero: No questions? Good. SAI SICI! Sai Sici: (Jumps up on to his desk) Sir, yes sir! (Salutes) Heero: Come up here and perform the "Perfect Soldier Death Glare" on this mirror. You may add embellishments for your style and personality.  
  
Sai Sici walks up to the front of the room and stops in front of the mirror. Sizing it up he sits in front of it, Lotus style, meditating. His aura begins to glow and his crest of the Ace of Clubs appears on his hand. When to wings made of Ki appear on his back his eyes open and the mirror shatters.  
  
Heero: Good job. B-. Your form was perfect, but you have to be able to perform it faster. Next is Argo Gulskii.  
  
Argo walks up to the mirror and levels his gaze at it. The Black Joker crest appears the mirror is turned into a fine powder.  
  
Heero: Perfect. A+. Next is George deSand.  
  
George strides up to the mirror. The Jack of Diamonds appears on his hand and half of the mirror shatter.  
  
Heero: Hn. Trowa had that same problem. Oh well, A-. Chibodee Crocket, get up here.  
  
Chibodee walks up to the mirror, hands in his pockets and totally relaxed. Suddenly he pulls his fists up to the guard position, the Queen of Spades crest flares, and the mirror shatters.  
  
Heero: Not intimidating enough, but effective, B-. Domon Kashu, you're last up. Domon: Finally, I'll show you how it's done. I WON'T FAIL!  
  
Domon walks up to the mirror. The G Gundam music starts up in the background. Out of nowhere the mobile trace system comes down over Domon. It finishes covering him and he goes through his kicks and punches. He brings his fist up and the King of Hearts crest appears. Staring at the mirror he calls out, "School of the Death Glare. The perfect soldier's secrete technique. Erupting Burning Glare!" Energy erupts out of his eyes and strikes the mirror. It melts, explodes, implodes, and is utterly destroyed.  
  
Heero: It took a long time, but dramatics and special effects made up for the lost time, due to the "Law of Uninterruptable Metamorphosis". So you get an A+.  
  
Suddenly, there is a knocking at the classroom door. The characters in the classroom look around, wondering who it is. No one else was expected for the fic. Then the door flies open and an unspeakable evil is revealed behind it. Relena Peacecraft.  
  
Heero: But I killed you last chapter! Domon: She feels like the Dark Gundam! We must destroy it! Relena: Heero! I found you! Now we can be together forever! Heero: Everybody! Death Glare now! Everybody (minus Relena): Omae O Korosu Death Glare! Relena: Noooooooooooo! Heero! I didn't tell you to kill me! I'm melting.(turns into a pink, foul-smelling puddle). Heero: I killed her before. Where did that come from? Domon: We may never know.  
  
*~*~*Back at Zech's secret evil lair type thingie*~*~*  
  
Zechs: So, they destroyed another one. I'll make sure that never happens again. The End? 


End file.
